At My Wits’ End
I recently started taking Ambien as a last resort for my insomnia. I know the current literature, I know the potential harm it may cause, but at this point it’s worth the nights of artificial sleep relief it gives me, and even the groggy hangovers I experience if I don’t dose early enough.
Interestingly enough, the z-drug has a very peculiar effect on me: on Ambien, I have dreams.
No, not the sort of dreams that involve REM and what some people believe to be the subconscious, but dreams. Far out ambitions and aspirations that seem to arise out of my subconsciousness.
Not the sort of dreams that grown adults have either. For example, I have dreams of being able to freelance write and work remotely. Those are more “goals,” I’d say. But child-like, unadulterated dreams.
Shortly after ingesting Ambien, I become the 5-year-old me who wants to become everything: A magician! A world-renowned chef! Hot Sauce Maker! Book Flipper! Poker Player! Everything’s fair game when you’re 5 and haven’t been jaded by the Real World yet.
Side Note: When I take Ambien, I don’t go straight to bed. I like staying up to enjoy the nice effects I feel on the drug. Due to the amnesic nature of the compound, I rather enjoy waking up in the morning to have a laugh at whatever silly thing I was doing last night that I have barely any recollection of.
The other night, I woke up from my Ambien-induced slumber to a couple emails confirming that I had purchased the following book:
Additionally, I had the following tabs open on my computer:
Following le Dream
About four months ago I wrote an op-ed piece about Affirmative Action being widespread practiced in higher education and its untended consequences. I published the article first on Medium, but the piece gained very littler traction, despite it being — if I may toot my own horn — well researched and well written.
I had put in a lot of time and effort into writing the article, and have a personal stake in the issue, so I knew I wanted to do more with it. Way more.
I started forming a list of publications I’d love my Affirmative Action piece to be published on. And with that, the cold emailing commenced!
I immediately got straight to work. There’s an artform for sending out these cold emails. Keep it short and sweet, and don’t forget to toot their horn!
On the days where I had to take Ambien, I powered through and continued to send cold emails until I could no longer resist the effects of the drug and pass out.
It’s a unique and exciting experience checking your inbox in the morning and receiving several replies and inquiries to your emails, some of which I had no recollection of even writing or sending. Thanks, Ambien…
So did you like, get published or nah?
Huzzah! I did. Resonate was very interested in my article and said they’d like to feature it. Check it out below, yo! I’d be ever interested in hearing your thoughts.
Note: Heather Stiles recently wrote a great piece on the pitfalls of Affirmative Action and proposes an attention shift from race to socioeconomic status.